Once or twice, maybe, in a lifetime, you might be blessed to have a friend who does "life" with you. (No, it's not a puppy, and this is NOT a sales-pitch...unless you want one of these cuties...) Ahem.
I visited one of my friends today. She has played the role of Life Coach, Counselor, Ministry Partner, Encourager, The Voice of Reason... Her life has been one of example, in how to live, how to treat a husband with love, how to stand firm when something that is "not quite right" threatens the balance of things, or when some situation threatens to unsettle the presence of Christ in our lives.
That's all pretty serious stuff.
This friend also....planned and hosted my 40th birthday party and kept it a complete surprise.
Talked sense into me when (on more than one occasion) I had some flighty notion that made no sense to anyone else.
She also encouraged me to follow dreams, one of which was this farm idea that took me away from the lunches that we enjoyed together or the times that we could go to a craft class in each other's company. That's a lot of self-sacrifice, to encourage someone to move away from the times that are spent together.
She was at the last party that we hosted in our suburban house, before making the actual move to the farm that we had owned for almost a year by then. One of our mutual friends confided in me at that point "She's really going to miss you, you know that, don't you?"
This is my friend Jane. From the time that my oldest son and her youngest son were in grade school together, we knew of each other and got to know each other better. The boys were grade-school friends, and then Jane's husband started the Boy Scout troop that they were in together.
Jane and I started talking more on the phone and the friendship deepened as the boys got into junior high....
When the boys went to the same high school, we would call to compare notes about how things were going, and at some point in that 9th grade year, we started making a real effort to keep in touch, because we no longer just "saw" each-other at junior high band concerts or other events.
Jeremy was just under a year old when I decided that Thursday would be my day to have lunch with friends, because I was feeling all alone in my prolonged stay-at-home years with a young child again, as my friends were moving on to their own children's high school activities. Jane was my more-often-than-not "Thursday friend".
We would take the dogs for walks in the forest preserves. We would chat about anything and everything.
One example: The high school boys came home with blue flecks of melted foam on their shoes... Flaming Nerf Ball... I laughed about it, Jane was a little more upset (and rightfully so...these still-Boy-Scouts soaked a Nerf soccer ball with gas, set it on fire, and kicked it around in the darkness with some other friends).
Or...we compared notes on teenagers in general. Jane's kids are older than mine, and she was not at all wishy-washy, like I was, about the teens being kept to the rules. I tend to be more worried about hurting someone's feelings...Jane would point out that it isn't about hurting feelings, but teaching how to live.
We went to Stampin' Up classes together and made lots of cards....spent lots of money...dreamed of lots of cards that may or may not have been created later and actually sent.
This is one of those rare friendships-of-a-lifetime. At least for me. I don't tend to have a lot of friends in general, but the ones that I DO have, are the down-to-earth, genuine women who hold me accountable and can laugh with me just as easily as they cry with me when I am crying.
Jane is the one who took me to the hospital when I had a women's-health type of outpatient surgery. It was a big deal to me, the end of having children (although...at age 42, and with 4 children already, that point had logistically been reached...just not the *actual* physical end of the possibility). She drove me in, waited with me, and then during the procedure waited some more, and was there when I needed a ride home. I needed a common-sense, strong friend at that point. She was perfect in that role.
Jane has been one of my biggest cheerleaders when I didn't have the confidence to do something without wringing my hands and wondering if it was the "right" thing.
I (Yes, *I*, Laura Dykstra!) led a hiking retreat in Shenandoah National Forest. I was the *actual* leader of something that I had trained to do with another friend, but which I had to do on my own when it came right down to it. One whole week, which would have been for a group of women, but God changed that plan to be Jane and her husband, my husband, and me. We hiked together, shared devotions, sang praise songs. Everything that I had prepared for a group of women was instead tailored for two couples instead, who treasure those memories even now, more than 10 years later. Jane was the voice of encouragement, as I thought the plan which I *knew* God had planted in my heart was going to crumble. And it happened.
She cheered me on when we started talking this crazy talk of moving out of suburbia and having a little farm. This is where this whole epistle fits into the farm blog. Without Jane, and Gene Marzelli, and a few other people who could see the life come back into my eyes and the excitement building in my voice, this farm would have never happened. God placed those cheerleaders in my life at such a time as He wanted to move us out of Palatine and into something that would have never been considered, even 5 years earlier. It was a crazy and wonderful thought, and somehow farm life is a perfect fit for who God made me to be.
For one of a few "best friends", in the whole 50 years that I've been here on this earth, I couldn't ask for anyone better.
Jane is opinionated, sometimes bossy, and very sure of herself. She will smile (I hope) when she reads that.
Jane is also tender-hearted, encouraging, and has shown me so much about what life should be like when God is at the center of it. She is a strong woman, who has been through so many health crises (not just struggles, but real, scary CRISES!) and still has shown me and so many others how to keep her focus on Christ, who gives us life.
I am blessed to know her. My life would have been very different without her strong friendship and Christian advice.
My farm blog hasn't been filled with as many funny stories this year, things have gotten busy and the newness has worn off a bit, although the joy in what I'm doing is still very much alive.
I'll tell you something, though...Jane is one of the people who I typed all of the previous stories for. I imagine her laughing, or maybe shaking her head at my silliness. When the brand-new 1000 pound cow ripped the stanchion off the wall and stepped on my foot, and all I wanted to do was sit in the manure and cry at my own stupidity...I could type out the story with a funny twist because I knew someone like Jane was going to read it and I wanted to make it an interesting read.
Sometimes she will send me an e-mail in response to some story I typed out (did you know that typing this blog is really good therapy when I can't make sense of things sometimes?)...and we'll talk about it a little.
The blog is really just stories that I type out, to share my farm adventures with friends and family who somehow keep me going, by their encouragement and love.
I brought the three pups in the pictures to Jane's house today. She wasn't feeling well enough for them to rush up to her and give her kisses, but one little pup was brought in by Jane's daughter so that she could see what has kept us busy on the farm these past seven weeks.
The farm with it's puppies and goats and piglets and everything else is, in a way, the product of the encouragement that I've received...
Don't underestimate the value and power of a genuine friend like Jane. She adds such sparkle and joy just by being a friend to me.
Puppy kisses to all the friends out there.
And love to you, Jane, so much love that there is no way I could put it into words.
Laura
